Ayers Rock, or Uluru as we Australians knowingly call it, had been on my Bucket List ever since Mum, Dad & Louis had been there on their mini world tour and had boasted about the wondrous sunsets, sunrises and stars they had seen there. Although we weren’t able to do it with quite the same panache that they had (the exclusive Latitude 131 was a little out of our price range) I was still super excited to see the Rock and experience its Outback magic. We checked in to our hostel and spent an hour or so pouring over the dozens of tour options available to us; should we fork out for the ‘Sounds of Silence’ dinner, a helicopter ride over Uluru at dawn or a camel ride through the desert as the sun is setting? For those of you who have ever travelled on a Gap Yah budget, you’ll appreciate that despite being in some of the best places in the world it is always a little depressing to turn down the amazing options on offer for the cheaper option of a shuttle bus to Uluru to walk around unguided before being dropped off at a car park to watch the sunset with the masses. I realise that this sounds a little spoiled, and it can be true that the best things in life are free, but the lure of the ‘Sounds of Silence’ dinner complete with Australian BBQ and ‘Star Stories’ had been difficult to turn down. I was quickly cheered up though by a trip to the shop to purchase the necessities such as Heinz Baked Beans, Tim Tams, salt and vinegar crisps and Vegemite followed by an amazing sunset over Uluru, with an ice-cold glass of Magners cider in hand!
The next day after an early start to see the sunrise and a breakfast of poached eggs and beans on toast, we packed up a little picnic for our walk around the base of Uluru and boarded the shuttle bus that would take us to the starting point of the walk. We had been in a moral and ethical dilemma over whether to climb up Uluru as the Aboriginals don’t like tourists climbing the Rock as it is considered to be extremely sacred, not to mention dangerous, but despite this it is actually allowed to climb the Rock if you want to. Forrest fancied the challenge but understood my hesitance as we were both keen to respect the wishes of the Aboriginals who are considered to be the ‘original owners’ of Uluru. Luckily the decision was made for us as the climb was closed due to strong winds at the top, so content in the knowledge that we wouldn’t have done it anyway as responsible and ethical Gap Yah’ers we headed off around the base of the incredible glowing red monolith. Until now I have neglected to mention one very serious problem that we had with Ayers Rock, as I have been wondering at how best to explain the torturously irritating additions to our time there. When I say ONE very serious problem, perhaps it would have been more reasonable to say TRILLIONS of serious problems in the form of huge great big flies that buzzed around so incessantly that it was necessary to spend our precious Australian dollars on fly nets to wear very attractively over our heads to keep the flies out of our facial orifices. Needless to say, the picnic was a disaster as I struggled to fit the sandwiches through the holes in the fly net, and proceeded to sulk when I realised that eating the salt and vinegar crisps, which I had so desperately been looking forward to after months of only Mega Queso Doritos in South America, was an impossibility. Safely protected from the swarms of flies buzzing around us, the walk around the base of Uluru took a couple of hours, and despite the difficulties we faced every time we wanted to stop and take a picture sans fly net, the scenery was absolutely stunning and Uluru itself so breath-taking that it is not hard to see why it is so sacred to the Aboriginals. After seeking refuge from the heat and the flies in the Cultural Centre for a while we boarded the bus to go and watch the sunset over Uluru from a viewing spot. I hadn’t forgotten the other tour options available, with complimentary champagne and nibbles as the sun set, but for once I was glad that we had picked the cheapest option as the thought of battling the flies as they tried to share my champagne and canapés was simply too distressing and I felt sorry for those rich people as we stood happily in our sexy fly nets in the car park watching Uluru change colour as the sun set over the desert. It wasn’t the greatest sunset we have seen on our Gap Yah, but I felt an astonishing sense of “the awesome powah of nature"!
We left Uluru the next day to return to one of our favourite spots in Australia thus far – Sydney Airport to take yet another flight, this time to Melbourne where we would be staying with Matt and Jenna. We had met Matt and Jenna (Manna?! Jett?!) during the Lost City trek in Colombia and had formed a bond over the blood, sweat and tears we lost there. We’d separated with promises to write Melbourne in to our itinerary, but this can often happen in Gap Yah circles, “Yeah sure I’ll come visit you in Norway next summer!”, however we had heard such great things about Sydney’s ‘Little Sister’ that we had booked our flights in Cusco and it was confirmed. Arriving late on the Friday night meant that there was only time for a quick catch up and a tour round Jenna’s family home before we collapsed in to bed, exhausted and finally taking time to catch our breath after the long flight from Buenos Aires and a whirlwind trip to the Red Centre. Melbourne is famous for its foodie prowess, and the following morning we experienced the breakfast culture that Matt had told us about, with a trip to Porgies for a scrummy breakfast, before being dropped off on Chapel Street while Jenna went to work. Struggling with the trendy shoppers with bulging bags of lovely new clothes from the cool shops on Chapel Street we escaped in to the sanctuary of the Irish Pub for a pint while we waited for Jenna to come back and rescue us. I did note with some satisfaction that Sports Girl was selling a jumper for $90 that was very similar to the jumpers found on markets all over South America and that I had purchased for the far more reasonable sum of $4! Jenna met us when she had finished work and took us on a tour around the wealthiest neighbourhood in Melbourne’s suburbs, and we were struck again at how everything we had seen so far reminded us of the suburbs of Los Angeles, before meeting Matt and driving to St Kilda (with a quick sushi stop beforehand!) We spent a couple of hours on the beach, drinking Cleanskin wine out of plastic cups watching the buzz of St Kilda on a sunny Saturday afternoon. But the delightful afternoon came to an abrupt end when a horrible seagull did a poo on me, and we went back to Jenna’s to get ready for our BIG SATURDAY NIGHT ON THE TOWN!
Forrest and Matt started the night in style with a trip to watch Richmond vs. Lions (Aussie Rules?) at the MCG, while I did not do this despite the worry that I would miss the half-time show they had put on in my honour. I, wearing borrowed heels two sizes too small, got the train in to the City to meet Ellie, a friend from University who I had not seen for years and was living in Melbourne. To make things easier we went straight to the bar where I had arranged to meet the others later, and I quickly realised that we’d made a wise decision. The view over Melbourne’s CBD from the Rooftop Bar was stunning and we had a great few hours catching up with each other’s lives and everyone we’d ever known at University’s lives as well! Ellie quickly introduced me to her Aussie boyfriend before I went to meet the others in Cookie. Lots of drinks later we ended the night in a fancy kebab shop with actual table and chairs, not unlike Blackburn’s Darwen Street.
After a very shaky and tired start to Sunday morning we woke up just enough to pile in to the car for a day trip to Phillip Island where Jenna has a summer home. We broke up the drive with a quick stop to get donuts from a roadside cart and when we drove over the bridge to the Island we were all feeling a little less dead. Blustering winds whipped away any remaining cobwebs as Jenna took us on a tour of the Island. My guidebook had said that Phillip Island receives around 4.5 million visitors every year, which is 3 million more than Cusco, and with its beautiful sweeping coastlines, pristine beaches with turquoise waves combined with the tiny fairy penguin inhabitants it is not difficult to understand why it so popular. We ended the day at a winery where we sampled some of their wines (no spitting for me!) with a delectable cheese board and nibbly things. Somehow Jenna managed the drive back to Melbourne without falling asleep after our long day, and Matt cooked up kangaroo steaks for us before bed.
Not wanting Jenna to be crowned Tour Guide of the Melbourne Trip, Matt took us on his own tour around the city, showing us everything that Melbourne has to offer. He managed to include everything that Melbourne is famous for and our whirlwind tour took us all over to explore Parliament Square, Southbank and all the other sights around the city before a yummy lunch of dumplings in Chinatown. We then had a coffee and a cupcake in one of Melbourne’s famous Laneways, which reminded me of Diagon Alley in Harry Potter with its hidden nooks and crannies and exciting treasures to discover. We continued exploring the city, stopping to admire the State Library of Victoria and to see where Matt planned to set up a coffee cart on one of the University campuses. Thoroughly satisfied that Matt had shown us the majority of Melbourne’s offerings we headed back to Jenna’s for a roast lamb dinner, something that we had been sorely missing on our Gap Yah, and a very quick visit to Swartz’s CrossFit Melbourne. We said goodbye to Matt that evening as he was up and away early the next morning for a job trial, reminding us that it doesn’t take long for the real world to come creeping back as soon as you abandon Gap Yah and return home. I met up with another friend the next morning, Nicola, who had been a close friend when I was in Trinity Beach. It was unfortunate that it was such a rushed meeting, but we managed to catch up on all the essentials, like who is dating who, as we reunited over poached eggs and pancakes. Jenna drove us to the airport a few hours after I got back from my breakfast with Nicola and we again made promises that we would see each other again, next time in London so we could return their wonderful hospitality. We were a little sad to be leaving the comforts of a family home where we had been treated so nicely, but we didn’t remain down for long as we were going back to SYDNEY AIRPORT, where this time we would actually be leaving the airport in search of P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.
We checked in to our hostel which was located in Kings Cross, infamous for prostitutes and debauchery (the area not the hostel) and were happy to learn that the Harbour Bridge and Opera House were visible from the window in our dorm. Already feeling the purse strings loosen after almost a week in Australia it was time to tighten them again, which can only mean one thing… GOON! Goon is to Gap Yah what steak is to Argentina, or what cocaine is to Colombia , and basically refers to any “wine” that comes in a box that doesn’t list the grape (e.g. Shiraz, Chardonnay), instead calling it ‘Dry White’ or ‘Fruity Red’. You can imagine Forrest’s despair when I explained that this was the way forward while we were in Australia, and he unhappily and unsuccessfully tried to find wine in a bottle that wasn’t ridiculously expensive, even the wines made in Australia were almost double the cost of back home. Unwilling to succumb to ‘Fruitylexia’ adored by Gap Yah’ers Australia-wide, he eventually decided that if he had to buy wine in a box or a bag it would have to be one of the more upmarket ones and we ended up with a wine that had chosen to package their wine like that for environmental reasons rather than for cost so Eco Forrest was happy on all counts. Accompanying our Goon was the first of many poverty-stricken meals in Australia. Having been so used to eating whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in South America, food shopping with a budget again caused some slight disagreements in the supermarket but we eventually settled on pasta and sauce, a Gap Yah staple; cheap, simple and bland.
We woke reasonable early due to the extremely creaky bunk beds in the hostel, and set off to find Nemo. We had decided that the best way to see the city in the little time we had would be with a hop-on-hop-off city bus, which also provided us with transport to Bondi the next day. Our first stop was the Opera House, and we disembarked here and explored the whole area around the Opera House, Circular Quay, The Rocks and Harbour Bridge as I provided a running commentary about the history from my guide book. I’d like to reiterate what I said 5 years ago when I went to Sydney; seeing the iconic structures up close makes you very much aware of just how far away from home you really are, and I had slight pangs of homesickness as we did our own mini harbour tour. We ate our picnic lunch (ham, cream cheese, tomato and vegemite sandwiches, salt and vinegar crisps and Goon) in glorious sunshine in the Botanical Gardens with a view over the harbour before walking around to Mrs MacQuarrie’s chair for that perfect postcard picture of the Opera House and Bridge. Jumping back on the bus where we had left off we continued with our city tour, getting off occasionally at points of interest (normally for a food top-up) and dodging the wind and branches as we drove around the city. Forrest got a bit excited when he saw the KPMG building in the CBD, but Sydney didn’t particularly give me the vibe that I could live there because everything seems to be so ridiculously revolved around tourism unlike Melbourne where I could quite easily see myself living if it wasn’t quite so far away from home. We headed back to the hostel on the last bus of the day just as darkness fell for another meal of pasta and Goon, we had settled in to the Australian stereotype of Gap Yah in no time.
Utilising our city bus tour tickets we caught the bus out to Bondi, and although it was a nice day it wasn’t sunbathing weather due to the gale-force winds which meant that we were able to view the beach in all its glory without the millions of people that flock there and cover the sand. We’d heard mixed things about the beach itself, but I thought it was beautiful, bordered with interesting graffiti and clear waves it was easy to see why it was so famous. I was especially impressed with the swimming pools carved in to the rocks at Bondi, and also later in Bronte, where the sea waves crash over the swimmers who have to be very dedicated (or mad) to swim in the icey water! We attempted the coastal walk to Coogee however the winds were so strong by this point that it was slightly difficult so we only got so far as Bronte where we found protection from the winds and had our picnic (see above) on the grass behind the beautiful little beach and read our books. After a couple of hours we headed back to Bondi to sneak back on to the bus back to the city despite our 24-hour tickets expiring. We were successful and spent the evening planning out the rest of our time in Australia, chatting to a lovely girl from our dorm and eating pie, mash and peas from Pie Face! On our last day in Sydney we once again escaped the hustle and bustle of the city and boarded a ferry to Manly, where we sunbathed on the beach with our clothes on, ate fish and chips and thoroughly relaxed watching the surfers, which is what you’re supposed to do in Manly, before heading back in to the city to pick up our bags and getting on something that we had not been missing at all…A NIGHT BUS!
Having been slightly spoiled with the ‘luxurious’ night buses in South America, with practically fully-reclining seats and waitress service, we were back down to earth with a bump as we boarded the Greyhound that would take us up the East Coast to Byron Bay. Poor Forrest had no room at all for his legs (I was fine obviously) and we were shocked to find that neither food, nor coca tea were going to be served at any point in the journey. We made it through the night though, albeit a little groggy, and arrived in Byron Bay to bright sunshine. Dumping our bags at the hostel unable to check in until a later hour, we went straight to the beach where we cheered on the masses of people taking part in the Byron triathlon and narrowly avoided a seagull attack when we treated ourselves to a cheap picnic lunch of sushi handrolls. The hostel we were staying at was pretty cool, and on our first night there after a pasta dinner we got chatting to a girl who we happily shared our Goon with (“no please, we insist that you help us drink it!”). We were picked up the next day by the Happy Bus which was to take us to Nimbin, an old hippie community where Gap Yah’ers tend to go for one reason only, and it isn’t to visit the Marijuana Museum on the highstreet. After a rather pointless stop at a random waterfall, our next stop was at a very colourful and happy Sunday market where we treated our hangovers to a rustic sausage sandwich and an ice cream as we watched the weird and wonderful world go by, before heading in to Nimbin itself. Too poor to purchase any of the offerings, we amused ourselves by reading the funny shop signs such as “Bring-a-bong” and laughed at people that looked like they’d spent far too much time in Nimbin. We even visited the museum. We met up with the rest of the group for a pathetic excuse for a BBQ, and it quickly became clear that a few other people on the bus obviously had more money than sense and had experimented with the hash cookies that were sold in every shop and were now suffering as a consequence. It was going to be a very long bus ride back to Byron for them! A rainy start to the next day meant that we felt no urge to get out and do anything and spent the morning catching up with things and reading. The rain eventually cleared by around 4pm so we quickly rushed out to do the walk to the lighthouse in search of dolphins. The walk up to the lighthouse was beautiful and although we didn’t get to see any dolphins we were treated to a stunning sunset as we walked back along the beautiful beach to the hostel. To celebrate a lovely time in Byron Bay we treated ourselves to a drink of something other than Goon in an actual bar and then dinner of something other than pasta in the form of jacket potatoes, beans and cheese.
We had planned our trip to Australia down to the letter due to the limited time we had there and the amount of amazing excursions the East Coast offered, which was something new to us after our lackadaisical attitude towards getting around South America, and we had only been able to pick a few of the highlights Australia had to offer. So Ayres Rock, Melbourne, Sydney and Byron Bay had all been ticked off, and it was now time to mingle with our fellow Gap Yah’ers in close quarters with the obligatory tours on Fraser Island and Whitsundays before spending a week of relaxation in Trinity Beach with friends. Advance Gap Yah Fair!
Forrest’s Financial Forecast…
With the exception of Brazil, South America turned out to be mostly inexpensive. Booze, especially beer, was cheap, eating out was cheap, hostels were cheap and activities, tours etc were, wait for it… cheap! This made for a happy budget-conscious Gap Yah’er.
How things change.
As a keen reader of newspapers, always devoting some time to the financial pages, I knew Australia was not going to be cheap before we landed on her soil. With one of the fastest growing economies in the developed world today, Australia shook off the GFC (Global Financial Crisis) as it’s known here as if it were a minor tremor. China’s insatiable appetite for Australia’s raw materials has resulted in a commodity boom and consequently, the Aussie dollar has got stronger and stronger. For those of you who are currently thinking “what the f**k is he talking about?!” I’ll spell it out for you…
strong Aussie dollar + weak British pound = EXPENSIVE!!!!!
Let’s start with the fundamentals, essentials you could say. A Dairy Milk bar back home costs around 60p these days, maybe a little more, maybe a little less. Over here it sells for the princely sum of £1.70! ONE POUND SEVENTY! Although, the other day I do confess seeing an offer for two chocolate bars for the tiny sum of £3, which I suppose makes everything okay. And now to booze - although rare, it so happens that every now and again Tesco or Asda will offer three crates of beer, that’s 48 bottles for £20. That’s 42p per bottle and a true gain of the bar variety. Let’s compare the “offer” on at our local bottle shop, a crate (albeit with 20 bottle not 16) for $45, that’s £30. A quick sum reveals that’s £1.50 a bottle; more than three times as much as the UK price. This expensiveness extends to everywhere and everything in Australia; suffice to say the dining-out-every-night days of South America have well and truly come to an end. Whereas in Buenos Aires one could sample the very finest steak for around £8-10, the cost here would be at least double, probably triple. In Melbourne we walked past a restaurant which Matt described as “pretty decent” and steak there cost a cool $120, that’s £80.
Although I have loved every second of this country thus far – there are so many amazing things to see and do, it been tough from a financial perspective. And therefore as we look forward to next part of our Gap Yah adventure in South East Asia, my financial forecast is sweet and simple… things can only get better!!!
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